Post by Souriquois on Feb 19, 2018 22:57:56 GMT -4
I just thought this article was hilarious.
Remember the 2D fighting games of the '90s that were just ethnic stereotypes beating the crap out of eachother? LOL yeah, those were the days, before SJWs took over video games.
www.dorkly.com/post/15651/the-7-most-stereotypical-native-americans-in-fighting-game-history
7. Julia / Michelle Chang, Tekken
Reason for entering tournament: Everyone wants their tribe's magic amulet.
Special Moves: Twin Arrow, Snake Step
Michelle discovered Julia as a baby, though if you were just judging on strategy guides you'd swear they were related by blood. They have the same fighting style, combos, and special moves. Michelle starred in the first two Tekken games, but was replaced by her daughter because Tekken actually has a timeline that moves forward and it would be completely unrealistic if an older woman was competing in the Tekken tournament. How would she ever stand a chance against the android Jack or the boxing kangaroo Roger?
6. Wolf Hawkfield, Virtua Fighter
Reason for entering tournament: Ominous prophecy
Special moves: Nothing funny, but Virtua Fighter doesn't really have special moves anyway
There was a lot that set the first Virtua Fighter apart - a simple three-button control scheme, the most virtua graphics of the era, and character movesets based on real life fighting styles. Nobody in this game was fueled by psycho energy, mystic yoga, or hell. Everyone in Virtua Fighter could be a real person, with the notable exception of the cyborg big boss Dural (and science is working on that). Wolf Hawkfield employed the fighting style most familiar to the game's target audience, professional wrestling. While not technically Native American, he was a First Nations woodsman who achieved fame as a pro-wrestler, somewhat like a Canadian Tatanka). The only difference? Tatanka never had to compete against ninjas, women, and old men. He was also significantly less Virtua.
5. Black Hawk, Samurai Shodown
Reason for entering tournament: Shaman told him to.
Special Moves: Tomahawk Swing, Double Tomahawk, Hawk Dive
The bar for Native American costume design in fighting games has been set so embarrassingly low, the first one that shows up wearing a shirt will probably win some kind of humanitarian prize. That winner will not be Black Hawk, from Samurai Shodown. Granted, Samurai Shodown is set in the 18th century, so his dress is period-appropriate, even though science tells us that shirt technology existed back then. But "Black Hawk"? When you're naming your token Native American character, why are "hawk" and "wolf" the only animals that come to mind? What about the pugnacious beaver, or the persistent salmon? Don't these spirit animals deserve representation?
4. Rick Strowd, Fatal Fury
Reason for entering tournament: Heard the call of the wind.
Special Moves: Blazing Sun Burst, Machine-Gun Wolf
Welcome to Videogame Cultural Sensitivity Training. Pop Quiz: If you were a young, athletic, Native American man with a forte for boxing, where would you naturally make your living?
If you said a casino, then shame on you, we expected better. Also, congratulations! You're exactly right according to Real Bout Fatal Fury 2. Rick Strowd spent ten years as a casino show boxer until "nature's voice" called him away to become an unpopular bit character in a difficult-to-follow fighting game franchise. It was good advice: Rick had everything a Native American needs to win a fictional multinational fighting tournament: a deep-yet-undefined spiritual connection with nature, gratuitous body paint, and a coupon for discount crab legs at the casino buffet. Unfortunately, he was bumped out of the next game and hasn't appeared in a mainstream title since. The Japanese developers said it was because Rick wasn't "interesting" enough, which, oddly, is the same excuse American frontiersmen used whenever they poured concrete over an Indian burial ground to make room for a new whorehouse.
3. Thunder Hawk, Street Fighter
Reason for entering tournament: To reclaim his tribe's land (from M. Bison) / rescue his kidnapped sister (from M. Bison)
Special Moves: Rising Hawk, Diving Hawk, Mexican Typhoon
Super Street Fighter II brought one more adjective and a few new characters into the SF mix, including Dee Jay (Breakdancing-type), Cammy (thong-type), and Thunder Hawk (stereotype-type). Like most characters on this list, T. Hawk's name came out of a Native American-themed word jumble. Looking at his character design, two things jump to mind: First, his feathered headband and warpaint: clearly a man in touch with the spirit of the land. Second, jesus christ what is wrong with his body. His bio lists him at 7'7" and 360 lbs, and 90% of that is upper torso. His arms are so enormous, federal law prevents him from operating them while intoxicated. Where he comes from, his people have an ancient saying: "Is that T. Hawk, or did someone park a bus on a pair of blue jeans?" This is what science imagines men looked like back when dinner meant choking a woolly mammoth to death.
2. Nightwolf, Mortal Kombat
Reason for entering tournament: Become the ultimate shaman and guide Liu Kang back from the spirit world.
Special Moves: Tomahawk Chop, Spirit Arrow
You probably assumed that because Nightwolf has a move called the "tomahawk chop," he's just another Native American caricature who walks around with tomahawks. Well it looks like you owe an apology to the 10-year-old boy whose job it is to design new Mortal Kombat characters. Nightwolf is completely different. Instead of carrying around actual axes, Nightwolf is so in touch with spirits and elders and you know, energy, that he can form tomahawks out of green ectoplasm. He can also create a bow and arrow for a projectile attack. He's like Green Lantern, if Green Lantern's ring could only make things that would appear on a Family Feud board under "Things Native Americans Had."
1. Chief Thunder, Killer Instinct
Reason for entering tournament: Looking for his brother, Eagle (that's not his brother, an eagle, and a third thing we forgot to type. His brother's name is "Eagle.")
Special Moves: Tomahawk, Phoenix Dive
Despite his Native American heritage, what Chief Thunder really reflects is 1994. He has the facepaint of The Crow, the pants of a Bret Hart, and the mohawk of a punk from the the Ninja Turtles cartoon. He is easily the stupidest looking character on this list, and that's saying something. Chief Thunder holds another dubious honor - he is one of three characters from Killer Instinct who didn't make the cut for Killer Instinct 2. Do you know how hard it is to get cut from a fighting game? Traditionally, they only add more and more characters until gamers stop paying attention and they reboot it to the original characters everyone loved. Killer Instinct's problem? That requires original characters everyone loved. It was a game with a lot of hype and solid gameplay, but characters like Chief Thunder and Eyedol held it back from the pantheon. That's right, Chief Thunder didn't even have the worst name in Killer Instinct.
Honorable Mention: Chief Hawkwolf Featherclaw
Reason for entering tournament: To make his creators a lot of money.
Special Moves: Dreamcatcher Clutch, Fierce Wolf Hawk Fist of the Hawkwolf
Okay, to be fair, Chief Hawkwolf Featherclaw hasn't been featured in any videogames yet. But we figure this guy's our golden ticket to launching our own successful fighting game franchise. All we need now is a brash American, a gentlemanly European, a cute Chinese girl, and a super-handsome Japanese protagonist, and our roster will be complete. Keep an eye out for Super Final Dynamic World Dorkly Fighter HD Remix Bout arriving in a store near you, just as soon as we get all these lawsuits taken care of.
I just LOLd at this article. I laugh at old movies from when my parents were kids because of how racist they were... I bet when we are old, our kids will laugh at our generation's video games for the same reason.
Although on a positive note, the creators of the new instalment of Killer Instinct consulted with Nez Perce people to make Chief Thunder more culturally sensitive
www.ultra-combo.com/legend-thunder-pack/
Remember the 2D fighting games of the '90s that were just ethnic stereotypes beating the crap out of eachother? LOL yeah, those were the days, before SJWs took over video games.
www.dorkly.com/post/15651/the-7-most-stereotypical-native-americans-in-fighting-game-history
7. Julia / Michelle Chang, Tekken
Reason for entering tournament: Everyone wants their tribe's magic amulet.
Special Moves: Twin Arrow, Snake Step
Michelle discovered Julia as a baby, though if you were just judging on strategy guides you'd swear they were related by blood. They have the same fighting style, combos, and special moves. Michelle starred in the first two Tekken games, but was replaced by her daughter because Tekken actually has a timeline that moves forward and it would be completely unrealistic if an older woman was competing in the Tekken tournament. How would she ever stand a chance against the android Jack or the boxing kangaroo Roger?
6. Wolf Hawkfield, Virtua Fighter
Reason for entering tournament: Ominous prophecy
Special moves: Nothing funny, but Virtua Fighter doesn't really have special moves anyway
There was a lot that set the first Virtua Fighter apart - a simple three-button control scheme, the most virtua graphics of the era, and character movesets based on real life fighting styles. Nobody in this game was fueled by psycho energy, mystic yoga, or hell. Everyone in Virtua Fighter could be a real person, with the notable exception of the cyborg big boss Dural (and science is working on that). Wolf Hawkfield employed the fighting style most familiar to the game's target audience, professional wrestling. While not technically Native American, he was a First Nations woodsman who achieved fame as a pro-wrestler, somewhat like a Canadian Tatanka). The only difference? Tatanka never had to compete against ninjas, women, and old men. He was also significantly less Virtua.
5. Black Hawk, Samurai Shodown
Reason for entering tournament: Shaman told him to.
Special Moves: Tomahawk Swing, Double Tomahawk, Hawk Dive
The bar for Native American costume design in fighting games has been set so embarrassingly low, the first one that shows up wearing a shirt will probably win some kind of humanitarian prize. That winner will not be Black Hawk, from Samurai Shodown. Granted, Samurai Shodown is set in the 18th century, so his dress is period-appropriate, even though science tells us that shirt technology existed back then. But "Black Hawk"? When you're naming your token Native American character, why are "hawk" and "wolf" the only animals that come to mind? What about the pugnacious beaver, or the persistent salmon? Don't these spirit animals deserve representation?
4. Rick Strowd, Fatal Fury
Reason for entering tournament: Heard the call of the wind.
Special Moves: Blazing Sun Burst, Machine-Gun Wolf
Welcome to Videogame Cultural Sensitivity Training. Pop Quiz: If you were a young, athletic, Native American man with a forte for boxing, where would you naturally make your living?
If you said a casino, then shame on you, we expected better. Also, congratulations! You're exactly right according to Real Bout Fatal Fury 2. Rick Strowd spent ten years as a casino show boxer until "nature's voice" called him away to become an unpopular bit character in a difficult-to-follow fighting game franchise. It was good advice: Rick had everything a Native American needs to win a fictional multinational fighting tournament: a deep-yet-undefined spiritual connection with nature, gratuitous body paint, and a coupon for discount crab legs at the casino buffet. Unfortunately, he was bumped out of the next game and hasn't appeared in a mainstream title since. The Japanese developers said it was because Rick wasn't "interesting" enough, which, oddly, is the same excuse American frontiersmen used whenever they poured concrete over an Indian burial ground to make room for a new whorehouse.
3. Thunder Hawk, Street Fighter
Reason for entering tournament: To reclaim his tribe's land (from M. Bison) / rescue his kidnapped sister (from M. Bison)
Special Moves: Rising Hawk, Diving Hawk, Mexican Typhoon
Super Street Fighter II brought one more adjective and a few new characters into the SF mix, including Dee Jay (Breakdancing-type), Cammy (thong-type), and Thunder Hawk (stereotype-type). Like most characters on this list, T. Hawk's name came out of a Native American-themed word jumble. Looking at his character design, two things jump to mind: First, his feathered headband and warpaint: clearly a man in touch with the spirit of the land. Second, jesus christ what is wrong with his body. His bio lists him at 7'7" and 360 lbs, and 90% of that is upper torso. His arms are so enormous, federal law prevents him from operating them while intoxicated. Where he comes from, his people have an ancient saying: "Is that T. Hawk, or did someone park a bus on a pair of blue jeans?" This is what science imagines men looked like back when dinner meant choking a woolly mammoth to death.
2. Nightwolf, Mortal Kombat
Reason for entering tournament: Become the ultimate shaman and guide Liu Kang back from the spirit world.
Special Moves: Tomahawk Chop, Spirit Arrow
You probably assumed that because Nightwolf has a move called the "tomahawk chop," he's just another Native American caricature who walks around with tomahawks. Well it looks like you owe an apology to the 10-year-old boy whose job it is to design new Mortal Kombat characters. Nightwolf is completely different. Instead of carrying around actual axes, Nightwolf is so in touch with spirits and elders and you know, energy, that he can form tomahawks out of green ectoplasm. He can also create a bow and arrow for a projectile attack. He's like Green Lantern, if Green Lantern's ring could only make things that would appear on a Family Feud board under "Things Native Americans Had."
1. Chief Thunder, Killer Instinct
Reason for entering tournament: Looking for his brother, Eagle (that's not his brother, an eagle, and a third thing we forgot to type. His brother's name is "Eagle.")
Special Moves: Tomahawk, Phoenix Dive
Despite his Native American heritage, what Chief Thunder really reflects is 1994. He has the facepaint of The Crow, the pants of a Bret Hart, and the mohawk of a punk from the the Ninja Turtles cartoon. He is easily the stupidest looking character on this list, and that's saying something. Chief Thunder holds another dubious honor - he is one of three characters from Killer Instinct who didn't make the cut for Killer Instinct 2. Do you know how hard it is to get cut from a fighting game? Traditionally, they only add more and more characters until gamers stop paying attention and they reboot it to the original characters everyone loved. Killer Instinct's problem? That requires original characters everyone loved. It was a game with a lot of hype and solid gameplay, but characters like Chief Thunder and Eyedol held it back from the pantheon. That's right, Chief Thunder didn't even have the worst name in Killer Instinct.
Honorable Mention: Chief Hawkwolf Featherclaw
Reason for entering tournament: To make his creators a lot of money.
Special Moves: Dreamcatcher Clutch, Fierce Wolf Hawk Fist of the Hawkwolf
Okay, to be fair, Chief Hawkwolf Featherclaw hasn't been featured in any videogames yet. But we figure this guy's our golden ticket to launching our own successful fighting game franchise. All we need now is a brash American, a gentlemanly European, a cute Chinese girl, and a super-handsome Japanese protagonist, and our roster will be complete. Keep an eye out for Super Final Dynamic World Dorkly Fighter HD Remix Bout arriving in a store near you, just as soon as we get all these lawsuits taken care of.
I just LOLd at this article. I laugh at old movies from when my parents were kids because of how racist they were... I bet when we are old, our kids will laugh at our generation's video games for the same reason.
Although on a positive note, the creators of the new instalment of Killer Instinct consulted with Nez Perce people to make Chief Thunder more culturally sensitive
www.ultra-combo.com/legend-thunder-pack/